The Ultimate Topdeck
Magic the Gathering, Gatherer, Arena, and all cards mentioned are copyright of Wizards of the Coast and Hasbro. This poem is a transformative work and as such any use of copyrighted material is considered fair use under section 107 of the US Copyright Law.
You play Magic like a noob, watch how a master plays
I’ll beat you down five ways from Sunday
Before the next two turns are done you won’t know up from down
What can you do with only two cards you pathetic clown
My Yargle’s no longer sick, so it’s time to swing
You’ve got no blockers, you can’t do a thing
Guess you’ll have to take it, bet you wish you had my Archangel of Strife
At the end of my turn I’m at 40 and you have only 3 life.
You’ve had your fun, now it’s my turn
I’m going to untap all my lands, draw, and cast Relearn
I’ll bring back Reconstruction from my graveyard and back to my hand
Now watch what happens next as I tap all my lands
One blue so Reconstruction I can cast
Then I can return Mirror Universe to my hand at last
Next I will play it for six mana you see
And tap and sacrifice it for its ability
Don’t claim you have a response, you’re obviously tapped out
And I know you have no zero cost spells, of that there is no doubt
I never needed your angel you see
So just sit there and watch as the noose tightens slowly
When my mirror’s ability resolves we exchange our total life
I am now at 40 and you are at 3, the time is now ripe
To use the last of my mana, only one red
To toss a Lightning Bolt directly at your head
Your life is at zero this duel is at an end
Consider this game to be a valuable lesson my friend
I hope it teaches you not to be cocky all the time
For you never know when someone better will put you back in line.
© Jared Denstad
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For this poem, I wanted to write a poem about a perceived underdog beating a cocky, full of themselves “pro”. I chose to use Magic the Gathering for this scenario since it is a game that I am very familiar with having played it since 1997. It is also one of the few games I know of where it is entirely possible for a experienced player to lose to a inexperienced player due to the randomness of the cards in each player’s decks.
Some of you may feel like the poem was incomplete since I didn’t write about the entire game and only covered the last couple turns. If this poem gets enough likes, I may revisit it and expand upon it to show what happened in the lead up to what is written above.
Finally, I am sure there are those of you who are scratching your heads and have no clue what happened in the poem since you don’t understand any of the terms used. Basically, a player is losing badly in a game of Magic and finds a way to turn it around at the last minute and win. You can click on the hyperlinks to be directed to a picture of each card mentioned and see what it does. If this is your first time hearing about Magic the Gathering, I highly recommend looking into it and giving it a try either by buying actual cards or downloading the free Magic Arena app online. I hope you all enjoyed this poem and I will see you all soon for the next one.
